


IDK You Yet

by Small_Mercy



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bullying, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Molestation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Mercy/pseuds/Small_Mercy
Summary: An angsty Moreid soulmate AU set to the song of IDK You Yet by Alexander 23. Trigger warnings for cannon molestation and bullying.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. How do you miss someone you never met?

A/N: I wanted a sad angsty Moreid Soulmate AU so I wrote one. Warnings for bullying this chapter and cannon molestation in chapters to come.

* * *

_How can you miss someone_

_you’ve never met?_

_Because I need you now_

_but I don’t know you yet._

* * *

The scientific understanding of soulmates was lacking. In fact the first published study that referenced the phenomenon was released in the late 1980s by a well known social psychologist. It was almost immediately rejected by scientific journals so it was published in a more mainstream fashion.

Statistically one in every thousand persons had a soul mark. These marks were always vague thin blue jagged liens that cropped up in a few very specific places.

If one were looking for a soul mark they may find one on their mid back, directly over the third rib on the right side of their rib cage. Or about six inches above their right ear sitting just over their temporal lobe. Many will find one in the back of an elbow or knee or tucked on the inside of a waist. The least common however and most coveted is the mark lining just over the femoral artery.

However finding a mark doesn’t mean much because unlike the many poetic accolades about soulmates figuring out whose mark matches yours is not a simple or easy process.

You only receive a singular clue. A reoccurring day dream if you will of the moment you meet your soulmate. Many times the clue is different for each part of a pair and vague enough figuring it out is rare without help. And soulmate finding companies are expensive and positive results are not super common.

The only way a pair can know for sure if they are mated is by touching each other's mark. Which was taboo enough that it rarely happened outside of a possible match.

Spencer Reid first heard of the phenomenon when he read the initial study. Tucked in the back of the school library hiding from college students who were just as unhappy with his presence as their high school counterparts.

Reading the report had made him think of two things. One the smell of sawdust and the feeling of calloused hands combined with a circular crest for some indeterminable government agency. The other is a small blue jagged line above his right ear that he noticed at the age of nine when he took scissors to his hair after a particularly bad day in middle school and ended up having to shave his head down to make it look at all uniform.

Between these two thoughts is the realization that he must have a soulmate somewhere in the world. He wonders who they are, where they are, and if they know about him.

He wonders if they are strong and will protect him from the cruelties the world has had no problem bestowing on him. Or if they are smart and will help him carve out a place in the world where protection isn’t needed.

Thinking about his soulmate soon becomes a bit of an obsession. So much so that he writes the unknown person copious amounts of letters about every single menial thing that happens to him each day.

Then he ends up tied to a goal post. Naked, shaking and alone. Wishing that his screams were heard by someone or that his mother was having a good enough day to realize that he wasn’t home.

When he is found the next morning by a custodian then suspended for public indecency despite the fact he wasn’t there by choice, something within his heart breaks.

He makes his way home. Not caring that he will have to miss the rest of the school week as punishment because he wants to crawl into his mothers arms and hide for the next decade.

But home offers no comfort as his mother is screaming and fighting convinced that Spencer is coming to hurt her. So he hides in his room arms wrapped tightly around himself and wonders what it would be like to be held by his soulmate.

Then he wonders how it is possible to miss his soulmate's presence so deeply when he has no idea who they are.


	2. Can you find me soon because I’m in my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/ N- Thank you to everyone for the kind words. Here is Derek's introduction and some of his background on soulmates. 
> 
> Trigger warning: multiple references to child molestation. And a less than kosher view on God. (That is totally Cannon 03x08 if you don't believe me.)

_But can you find me soon because I'm in my head._

_Yeah I need you now but IDK you yet._

* * *

Derek Morgan grows up hearing about soulmates. His parents being a mated pair gave the young boy a more solid idea on what marks were compared to the world at large.

At eight years old Derek longed for the match to his own thin blue line. By ten he wished that soulmates never existed so that his moms heart could hurt just a little less.

His mother always told him that she wouldn't exchange the time she has with Hank for less pain. She told him God had a plan.

At ten Derek Morgan didn't know if he believed that. But he nodded and let his mom think that he did.

Now...

Now, Derek Morgan is seventeen years old.

Now...

Now he is lying on the grass staring at the stars through the tears that are blurring his vision.

Little Dipper. He identifies because mapping out constellations is normally enough to take his mind away from the pain in his body and the low grunting he hears.

He doesn’t fight.

He learned the hard way that fighting will get him nowhere. And runs the risk of the person atop him thinking he likes it.

So he lays limp and tries to go somewhere that is a bit nicer without the presence of Carl Buford.

It is here where he most often sees the flash of brown hair and hears the soft voice of his soulmate. He searches for it outside of this moment. He closes his eyes tight and tries will a vision.

It never works.

Which is a fact that makes him hate his mothers God more than anything else.

He could accept God taking away his father. He didn’t forgive it or like it but he could accept it.

He could accept God making his savior from the streets a lion in sheep’s clothing. He hates it and wishes that his sins did not require such a penance.

He could accept a good deal of horrible things. But Carl's hand running over the mark, his grunts as Derek sees the flashes of his soulmate makes it tainted.

Effectively vilifying the one thing that he was destined to love by reminding him of it each time he was used was unforgivable.

“Such a good boy,” Carl croons pressing a hand to Derek’s chin and forcing eye contact. The satisfaction in the man's brown eyes making the bile in Derek’s throat churn.

“Lets head back, it's getting late.” The man offers a hand to help Derek up.

He doesn’t want it.

He doesn’t want to touch Carl’s hand or go to the cabin; he wants to stay here with his mind amongst the stars.

_The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss._

The voice of his soulmate in his head makes the bile churn more. And makes the tears he has fought so long to keep at bay blossom behind his eyelids.

He nods but stands up with out touching Carl.

He redresses quickly as if Carl hasn't already seen all of him. He blinks back his tears not willing to look weak. He swallows his bile and hardens himself.

He may not be able to stop Carl from using him. But he will be damned if he lets the man see him break.

It is a good plan.

One that is almost completely shattered after barely containing his flinch as Buford wraps an arm around his shoulders.

The car ride back to the cabin is filled with the chatter of football lessons that Buford tells Derek’s mother to happen at the cabin. Derek listens half attentively as he wraps his arms around himself in a sad bastardization of a hug and looks out the window.

Because despite how tainted Buford has made his soulmate a part of Derek is still eight years old. A part of Derek is still the kid who hung on his fathers every word and yearns for his soulmate.

Because maybe, just maybe, his soulmate would be someone he could break down in front of. Maybe his soulmate is someone who could help.

He doubts it. But the yearning won’t stop. Even if it is just for something as simple as being held in the arms of someone who won’t hurt him.


End file.
